Carer Support: Looking After Yourself While Caring for a Parent
Caring for an elderly parent rarely begins with a decision. It begins with a few extra visits, then the shopping, then the medications. One day you realise you have become the primary carer. Carer support is available exactly for this reason. But unfortunately, most families are unaware of the options available to them.
You are in large company. Around 432,000 New Zealanders provide unpaid care, which is roughly one in seven adults. Most juggle work, their own children and a caring role at once.
Quick Summary
Carer support in New Zealand covers funding, respite services, peer support groups and practical help at home. The main government scheme is the Carer Support Subsidy. It reimburses the cost of a relief carer so a full-time carer can take a break. Carer support NZ funding is needs assessed through a Needs Assessment and Service Coordination (NASC) service. Carers NZ, Age Concern and private in-home care cover the remaining gaps. Looking after your own health is not selfish. A carer who runs out of energy cannot keep a parent at home.
What Support is Available for Family Carers in NZ?
Carer support services in New Zealand fall into four groups: funded relief care, respite services, peer support, and privately arranged in-home care. The largest scheme is the Carer Support Subsidy. Health NZ treats you as a full-time carer for more than four hours a day of unpaid care. The minimum daily reimbursement rate is $83.
Access runs through an assessment. A NASC service assesses the needs of the person you care for. It then allocates a number of days or hours per year. You keep receipts, complete the carer support claim form, then email or post the claim form. To contact the Carer Support team directly, phone 0800 855 066.
| Type of support | What it covers | Where to start |
|---|---|---|
| Carer Support Subsidy | Reimburses relief care costs for a set number of days each year | NASC assessment, then Health NZ |
| Respite services | Short-term aged care so you can rest, at home or elsewhere | NASC, or a private provider |
| Support groups | Peer contact with other carers who understand the caring role | Carers NZ, Age Concern, Alzheimers NZ |
| Private in-home care | Regular scheduled care services with no funding wait | Providers such as Personal Assistance |
| Disability support | Applies where the person you care for has a disability | Your local NASC or EGL site |
Respite care support groups are worth joining early. Peer advice often reaches families faster than official channels.
How do I Avoid Carer Burnout?
Carer burnout is avoided by building breaks into the routine before exhaustion sets in. Hours matter. A study of interRAI assessment data found that 13.9% of New Zealand caregivers supporting a parent with dementia are already experiencing burnout. Providing more than 21 hours of care each week was a significant contributing factor.
Watch for these signs in yourself.
- Your sleep has changed and does not recover on days off. Persistent exhaustion is the earliest warning.
- Small things now produce large reactions. Irritability with a parent you love is a symptom, not a flaw.
- Your own appointments keep getting postponed. Cancelled dental visits are a pattern worth noticing.
- You have stopped seeing friends and family. Social withdrawal arrives quietly and early.
- Your mental health feels flat rather than acutely bad. Long-term low mood deserves a conversation with your GP.
Support for dementia carers deserves particular attention. Broken nights raise the load, so the break needs to be regular.
How do I Look After Myself While Caring for a Parent?
Looking after yourself while caring for an elderly parent in your home means that you should get enough sleep, a steady income, and have a support group. Financial pressure is real. In the Carers NZ State of Caring survey, 59% of carers said they could not pay bills without struggling financially.
- Plan to have your break in advance. Having a regular, intentional break is better than reacting when an emergency arises.
- Ask your employer about flexible working before reducing your hours. Note that primary carer leave in New Zealand means parental leave, so it does not apply here.
- Write down what care and support your parent needs each week. This care planning record makes the NASC assessment easier.
- Accept specific offers from friends and family members. People help more readily when handed one task.
Can I Get Paid to Care for a Family Member?
In some situations, yes. Health NZ changed family care funding in 2023. The person receiving care can now choose a family member to provide their funded support. This means that a carer is employed by a support provider. In each case, a needs assessment comes first.
One question comes up constantly: how much do you get paid for respite care? Carer support funding is a reimbursement toward the cost of someone relieving you. It is not a wage for your own hours. Paid family and whānau carers may still qualify. Work and Income administers the Supported Living Payment for some full-time carers.
How Does Respite Care Give a Primary Carer a Real Break?
Respite care gives you a real break because someone else holds the responsibility, not just the tasks. The Ministry of Social Development lists several forms of taking a break from caring. Options include a support worker at home, a day programme, or overnight care.
For most families, in-home respite works best. Your parent keeps their own bed, routines, and surroundings. Familiar surroundings matter enormously where memory loss is part of the picture. Personal Assistance provides this across Auckland. Carers come to your parent; they are police vetted and first aid trained, and the same carer returns each time. Support ranges from a few hours a week through to personal care, dementia support and 24/7 live-in care.
Showing That You Care Begins By Reaching Out
Funding decisions take time. Help at home does not need to wait, and a first conversation carries no obligation. Brigid and Jackie answer their own phones, and they talk families through the options themselves.
Talk to us and let us know how we can help.
References
Carers New Zealand. (2022). The state of caring in Aotearoa. https://carers.net.nz/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/State-of-Caring-Report-Aug2022.pdf
Chan, C. Y., Cheung, G., Martinez-Ruiz, A., Chau, P. Y. K., Wang, K., Yeoh, E. K., & Wong, E. L. Y. (2021). Caregiving burnout of community-dwelling people with dementia in Hong Kong and New Zealand: A cross-sectional study. BMC Geriatrics, 21, 261. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12877-021-02153-6
Eldernet. (2026a). Can a family member be paid to care for me at home? https://www.eldernet.co.nz/knowledge-lab/home-community/carers/can-a-family-member-be-paid-to-care-for-me-at-home
Eldernet. (2026b). Understanding the Carer Support Subsidy in NZ. https://www.eldernet.co.nz/knowledge-lab/home-community/respite-short-term-care/what-is-carer-support
Health New Zealand | Te Whatu Ora. (2026). Carer Support Subsidy. https://www.healthnz.govt.nz/hospitals-services/eligibility-subsidies/carer-support-subsidy
Infometrics. (2022). The economic contribution and sacrifices of unpaid family, whānau and aiga carers in New Zealand. Carers New Zealand. https://carers.net.nz/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Infometrics-Economic-Contribution-of-Caregiving-November-2022-FINAL.pdf
Ministry of Social Development. (n.d.). Taking a break from caring (respite). https://www.msd.govt.nz/what-we-can-do/community/carers/guide-for-carers/people/taking-a-break-from-caring-respite.html